Last Friday, I got on the train for my normal commute home from the cities. Across the aisle, a blonde woman (very prestige looking) probably late-40’s sat down and gave me a smile. About 2 minutes after Blonde Woman got on the bus, another woman came flying in, and sat across from me. She looked late 20-s. Half of her hair was shaven off, she had tattoos, and she too gave me a grin.
We all sat there in silence (as you do on public transportation) and then Tattoo Woman asked me if I knew how to get to the Anoka County Corrections Office. She informed Blonde Woman and I that she was turning herself in for 11 days. I didn’t question what she was going to turn herself into, I just asked her what it was called again and started looking up directions for this woman once she got to Anoka. Blonde Woman started probing at why Tattoo Woman was going to turn herself in.
Tattoo Woman was turning herself in for 11 days after shoplifting. Again, I could care less what she had shoplifted, I was just trying to help her whatever way I could. Blonde Woman kept probing. Tattoo Woman said she stole a Plasma Screen TV. She put it in a shopping cart and just walked out.
Blonde Woman lectured Tattoo Woman about how stealing is wrong, that that’s peoples’ money she is taking, that she should feel horrible, all while Tattoo Woman sipped on her blue juice and laughed and said it was fine. Blonde Woman started grilling Tattoo Woman.
After 25 minutes on the train with Blonde Woman and Tattoo Woman, Tattoo woman had proudly told us she panhandled money on the side of the road and made more money than both of us, that she lived in a Wet House for free, had 3 children that she gave up for adoption all to the same family, asked me to check if her ex-boyfriend was incarcerated because she hadn’t heard from him in 2 weeks (and yes there is an app for that) and that all of the money she gets she spends on alcohol, drugs, and liquor, and she couldn’t be happier.
Blonde Woman interrogated Tattoo Woman about where she lived, how depressing her lifestyle must be, and went on to almost brag that she herself had a retirement and a home and how nice that was.
But I could care less about giving a woman who was clearly drunk on the train a lecture. If there is one thing I’ve learned from alcoholics I know, is that they won’t change their ways from one lecture. I also knew it wasn’t my place to lecture a person I had just met. Period.
I asked Tattoo Woman where she was from originally, how she liked living in the Wet House, what her favorite sports team was, and what her children’s names were. I didn’t treat her less because she was a homeless woman, with 3 children all from different fathers, and that she reeked of vodka. I just sat there and had a conversation.
Before Tattoo Woman got to her stop, she told us how her friends had told her to think of this 11 days as vacation. She was going to get 3 free meals a day, meet new friends, and she was trying to down as much vodka as possible before she got in so at least she could have a buzz. By this point, the entire cart and train conductor were also listening in.
The Conductor started joking that she shouldn’t be making friends there because those are bad people and that she should just keep to herself. Tattoo Woman responded that some of the best people she has met have been from jail (she had been 3 times prior). The Conductor joked with her and treated her like a 5 year old child, and I felt so uncomfortable the entire time.
Right before Tattoo Woman and Blonde Woman got off the train, I looked at Tattoo Woman, and told her that I didn’t want to see her on this train to go back to jail, that I wished her the best of luck, and told her to walk toward the Johnson intersection. I didn’t tell her that what she did was wrong, I didn’t tell her she needs to get a “real job”, and I didn’t tell her that her lifestyle was less than mine. I wished her the best and made sure she had the right directions.
As soon as she got off the train, the entire cart burst out laughing. Including The Conductor. The Conductor walked over to me and asked “what you’re not going on her 11 day vacation with her” as he laughed. I was shocked. Could anyone on this train see that this woman had had an incredibly rough life, and was trying to look on the bright side? Or that she had a serious coping problem. I went from shocked to mad.
I responded back, “No, and I don’t think it is funny, couldn’t you see that she was sick? She was drinking vodka and reeked of alcohol. I’ve seen too many people with the same problem and I do not think it is funny, so no I will not laugh about her going on an ’11-day Vacation’ because I cannot imagine what that must be like”.
The train instantly went quiet.
I sat there in that silence and thought about the past 45 minutes. How there was a blonde woman, and a tattooed woman, and myself. Blonde Woman and Myself had a taxable job. Tattoo Woman and I both had tattoos. We all were blonde, woman, and on the same train. We all just had different paths, as every single person in life do. But no matter what a person looks like, what they have done, or where they live, no one should assume they have the right to talk to someone like they are better than the other.
Yesterday, I pulled up to a stop sign to get on the freeway. There was a man with a sign “homeless, anything helps. God bless”. My first instinct was to look straight, lock the doors, and ignore him. But then I did something that even shocked myself.
I rolled down the window said hello, and told the man I had no money but I wanted to say hi anyway. He was shocked. And the biggest smile appeared on his face. In the 1.5 minutes we spoke, we talked about jobs, where he lived, if he was originally from Minnesota, and just had a conversation. Before I left, he thanked me for taking the time to talk, and told me that most people don’t even acknowledge him, and he really appreciates the conversation.
And then I pulled away. With the same amount of money I had in my purse, having given the man nothing but a conversation. I lost nothing, it did not cost me anything to have a conversation, but it gave Chuck the feeling of humanity.
And if you’ve read this far I appreciate it, because most people would see a story about a homeless man and woman and roll their eyes. But the lesson I have learned in the past week is that, no matter who you talk to, you should treat everyone with the highest, and same respect.
You have no idea what a person has been thru, and assuming that you are better in life might get you somewhere in life, but how many people are you willing to belittle to get there? I asked Tattoo Woman and Chuck the same questions as I do my highest prospects for my job. I’m not perfect, but I try my hardest to give everyone as much humanity as possible, because you never know what a conversation can do for a person.
Challenge yourself to step out of your bubble, have a conversation with someone your subconscious tells you is different, you would be surprised what kind of conversations you might have.
Be Yourself; Everybody Else Is Taken,
Miranda
4 comments
Such a beautiful story❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
What an amazing story and what a wonderful
Person you are. I’ve now given myself the same challenge as well as my children to do exactly what you did
Thank you for being you💕
Love this. Thanks for the reminder to think and to act like a human should. ❤️
You are amazing. I wish I could meet you in person and give you a huge hug! Stay as wonderful and sweet as you are:)